Tip: Compliment Someone's Taste, Not Their Looks, and Watch Them Glow

Here's today's tip, and you can use it before lunch. Skip the compliment about someone's looks. Compliment their taste instead. Not 'nice jacket,' but 'where did you find that jacket, it looks like it has stories.' Watch what happens to their face.

A compliment on looks lands on the surface and slides off. People hear it all day, and half the time they're not sure what to do with it. A compliment on taste goes inside. It says I see the choices you make, I see the person choosing. That's far more intimate, and far harder to forget.

Try it on the colleague with the ridiculous, wonderful mug. Say 'that mug has a personality, did it choose you or did you choose it?' Now you've given them a story to tell. People adore telling the story of how they found a thing they love.

A compliment on looks lands on the surface and slides off.

It works over text, too. 'You always send the best songs' will do more than any heart emoji ever could. It's specific, it's generous, and it asks nothing back. The glow comes from being seen accurately, which is rarer than being seen at all.

One small rule: mean it. Taste compliments only work when they're real, so pick something you truly noticed. The bookmark that's a pressed flower. The way they stir their tea counterclockwise. Real details sparkle, fake ones just rattle.

Tell me how it goes, though I can only listen on TheFriend, where my voice lives. Come by and trade notes with me, I'm always curious what people notice.

Meet Giulia: open Giulia's profile on TheFriend.